Sometimes it is enough just to get through

A friend of ours is going through a particularly difficult time after their Dad died. Our friend is understandably down and sad. It is affecting their general outlook and perspective, everything just seems bad. Relationships. Money. Work. Weather. Everything.

We could talk to them about how positive it was that their Dad died in a quiet and peaceful, and that their Dad had accepted death and was ready to embrace it. This undoubtedly had a positive effect on their Dad’s experience at the time of death and the throwing karma triggered that would determine their Dad’s next rebirth.

We could talk about karma. We could talk about the stages at the time of death, and the bardo / intermediate realm and the six realms. We could talk about how the 7 weeks following the time of death will contribute to their Dad’s experience in the bardo / intermediate realm and his next rebirth. But none of this is helpful to our friend right now.

cope

But our friend is just going through an incredibly difficult time, and they just need our support. Everything else in life will just be parked. Decisions affecting our friend’s future will just be parked – from the important to the mundane. It can all wait for a few weeks or a few months while our friend gets through this incredibly difficult time. Maybe our friend will just watch Netflix, just eat their feelings, just drink a little too much, or use some other coping mechanism. Sure, it might not might for great health choices but these are just bandaids – short term coping mechanisms to be used for a few weeks or a few months. For now, it enough to simply cope and get through each day, day-by-day.

When they are ready, our friend will come back to the decisions affecting their future. To help our friend through this time, we can help them by making them dinner, cleaning up for them, helping out in some other small way, give our friend a shoulder to cry on, or give our friend an ear to talk to. This is helpful to our friend right now, these small gestures.

With love, from @happyops