Between Hollywood movie images and expectations from friends and family it can feel as though if you are single you are a failure. It can be made worse when seated alone at a restaurant or wedding, asked questions about why you’ve been single for so long, or just not having somebody to cuddle with on a Sunday morning. But it only serves to lodge expectations within our minds that disturb our calm when we were happy all along.
Being single can be a warm welcome after a difficult relationship, a difficult time in your life, or just the chance to be single. It means that you can avoid activities that you would otherwise be obligated to do if you were in a relationship – the movie you don’t want to sit through, the awkward family event you don’t want to attend, or work through the next issue (ie. the next argument) you don’t want to get into.
Being single in itself is an open invitation to opportunities – to move city or to move job, to travel overseas, or to transform ourselves. It also means that you are able to work on yourself – whether it is extra time for meditation, quiet time to listen to teachings or read Dharma books, attending Buddhist classes in your city, or going to the countryside on a personal retreat. Being single is really an opportunity to develop ourselves and work on our own transformation.
Being single does bring attention to the fact that you make your own happiness and there is nobody else to rely on to make you happy. Of course, this nobody else will make you happy even whether you are single or in a relationship. The desperate attempts of our partner to shake our mood and lift our spirits might help a little but we might just as easily become irritated with their actions.
We are always responsible for our own happiness, whether we are single or in a relationship. This applies to whether we are working on our own day-to-day happiness or our own personal Nirvana and Enlightenment.
Making the Most of Now
Whether you are single or in a relationship, at @happyops we hope that you will make the most of the opportunities that are unique to the situation that you are in right now. Whether those are the opportunities are of the single person, those coupled up, and others that are in a different type of relationship. There are always opportunities there to be enjoyed, we hope you make the most of them.
PS. The tag #MyHappiness is a reference to the song by the same name by Powderfinger: