I am a Buddhist. Unfortunately this does not mean that I am a Buddha. I have not reached the state of peace associated with a Buddha and I certainly lack the omniscience. I am a Buddhist, I am seeking to develop these good qualities within myself. I am not there and I have a long way to go before I do get there.
I make mistakes every day. Usually I am just short or impatient to people. For the first time in a little while, I become quite angry with somebody at work. Typically this happens when there is specific tasks by some set deadline, the tasks do not go as planned or more tasks are added to be completed before the deadline. I might be pushing myself physically with more caffeine and less sleep. Some event, something said, or something will bring the conditions together.
This week similar conditions were brought together. Two busy weekends, looming deadlines, and more tasks added in. Today the situation brought the conditions together. I did not say anything mean, but my frustration was clear to everybody in the room. I left the room, left the building, and went for a walk. Eventually I had to return to the office and get through the rest of the day.
Now thinking back to the situation I feel embarrassed, it is certainly cringeworthy. Tomorrow all I can do is try again.