Refuge In Work
Recently I have been drawn into work and not been very engaged in my Buddhist practice. It is as though I have been taking refuge in work as a source of true happiness. Work is not a source of true happiness and I am foolish to think that it could ever be.
Also I have also been drawn into the negative things that people have said at work. These things are said half-jokingly but I have entertained a drama that includes those people, letting various scenes and plot twists play out in my mind. I have become upset with the people involved, making them into a type of enemy. I have reacted to them as an enemy by drawing away from them, this in itself may actually be a good thing as it will give me some breathing space away from work. But I have had negative emotions towards those people, and I have not taken the proper steps to catch those negative emotions early on.
Geshe Wangchen reminded me today that anger and hatred is worse than poison. Anger and poison are negative emotions that give rise to a spectrum of negative actions of body, speech, and mind. The results of these actions will stay with me and affect me in life after life. A poison will only affect me in one life but the effects of negative emotions will stay with me much longer.
I must pick myself up and put myself back on to the Dharma path, carefully watching my mind and controlling it when it becomes caught up in another drama. This is possible only if I regularly familiarise myself with the Dharma so that the teachings are never far from my mind, and can be easily applied even when I am distracted by a very difficult situation.