The title of this article is a play on the song title “Everything Changes (But You)” by Take That. The subject of this article is the following from ‘Mind Training Like The Rays of The Sun’ pg. 36 that includes the following quote from ‘Questions of Subahu Sutra’:
At times enemies turnout to befriends
And similarly friends turn into foes.
Likewise anyone can become your father or mother,
And even your parents can become your foes.
Because friendship is changeable like this,
The intelligent shun attachment.
Previously, I placed a great deal of importance in friendships. Some of this was through necessity, because I lived away from home and relied on friends rather than family for support.
Then, earlier this year I had quite a strange experience with a friend who I have been very close with for almost a decade. Within the space of 6 months, and especially 3 months at the beginning of the year the friendship deteriorated to the point where I now haven’t seen the friend for over 3 months. It’s not that the friend became a “foe” but rather we aren’t that close now.
The quote is about how all relationships are changeable. To change, some relationships require a more substantial event than others. For example, for for an “enemy” (think “really difficult person”) to become a friend would require a big event like a shared experience that required we work together, or if we discover a shared interest, then things do change.
But in those roles of friend, enemy, or person we don’t know yet, those roles are interchangeable and they do change over the course of a single lifetime. There is no reliability there, no consistency.