I think of myself as a Buddhist. I take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, and I have taken the Bodhisattva Vow. When I took my Bodhisattva Vow I was reminded that I am a “baby Buddhist”, that I had just taken my first step on a long path. But by taking that first step I was already that much closer to becoming a Buddha.
As a “good Buddhist” I try to do readings and attend teachings. I try to meditate on a semi-regular basis. I try to reflect on the teachings and I try to put them into practice.
The Layers Of Fail
You’ll notice that I include the multiple occurences of the word “try” in the paragraph above.
I often get angry and qualify my own behaviour with silly excuses. I get lost in consumerism and feeding my own sense of self-imortance. I put too much value in worldly, inconsequential things.
I won’t get into it in this article, but there was a big patch of 12 months when I didn’t really do Buddhist practice at all. It felt like I just had too much on and didn’t feel that I had the capacity to practice. I now regret this and think that I should have practiced, but it’s what I thought at the time.
Like with not practicing during those 12 months, I make mistakes all of the time. I will continue to do so because I am a Buddhist, not a Buddha.
Buddhist vs. Buddha
Sometimes it’s easy to put on a false show of how a Buddhist should behave, and try to behave in a way that isn’t my own. It’s good to improve my behaviour and try to be a better person. But I haven’t the
I am definitely not a Buddha, at best I am a “baby Buddhist”. But that in itself is great. How wonderful that I took the Bodhisattva Vow. I am on the Mahayana path heading towards Buddhahood. I’m just going at my own pace, that’s all.
Source: This article was based on a teaching by Ven. Tenzin Chogkyi. Any mistakes or misunderstandings are completely my own.